Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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