So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
