It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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