Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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