So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
