if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
