Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
