never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
