the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
And then he peed in my hair
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