He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
