I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
