why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
