Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
