True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
