You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
