I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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