why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I love you. Go after that dick
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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