I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
