I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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