I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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