I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
