I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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