Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
