She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
