I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
