Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
