I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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