i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
