when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
