just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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