Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
