We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
