I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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