the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think my moral compass just broke
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
