I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
