what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm like, not good at living.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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