what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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