Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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