Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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