You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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