you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
