you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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