Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
