Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
