Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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