remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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