next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
