You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sext me about skeletons
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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