Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
