I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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