found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
