What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
