Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
