It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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